I was once on the Crystal Maze. I went first and proudly told my team that I'm really clever so I should do a Mystery challenge. The Richard O Brien stand in told me that I had 3 minutes and locked me in a room. My team pocked their heads in a small window and shouted commands as if I were a disobedient dog about to foul the new rug. I blame this distraction on the fact I left the room empty-handed, having patted down a "dead" body, raided a bookshelf and tried to pick the safe. This is disappointment and embarrassment can only be replicated by losing to Rob Jelly on any episode of The Pilot. Will this week be one of those times?
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